Emma’s Boudoir Diary

Emma journaled her boudoir experience from finding us on Facebook through to taking her finished album home, offering you a unique insight into how it feels at every stage. Follow the highs and lows of her nerves and excitement in this honest and revealing boudoir diary.

Today I booked my photoshoot

I've been trying to find the confidence to do a boudoir shoot for a while. I don't really consider myself a sexy person and I've never done anything like this before.

I've been scrolling down Foxlow’s Facebook page and joined their private group too. I’ve read about so many positive experiences and how uplifting others have found doing the photo shoot. Many women have commented that they have found a whole new side to themselves of sexiness and confidence, which I'm hoping I will find too!

When I first got in touch with Foxlow it didn't really feel real, but now my appointment is booked I'm so excited to have this experience. I can’t wait to see how Danielle and Jon can make me look!

Now I need to decide what to wear

Since I booked my experience, I haven't stopped thinking about what possible outfits I could take and I've been surprised how much I've managed to find in my wardrobe.

I have been feeling anxious about doing this as it was very much a spur of the moment decision, and normally I'm a big planner! But the whole process of reading the style guide, thinking about my outfits and laying them all out on my bed has helped my nerves. I'm feeling super excited about it now.

It’s my photoshoot tomorrow

Everything is packed and I’ve got my DIY pamper kit to get ready for tomorrow. My favourite shampoo and conditioner for my hair, bio-oil for my body and my favourite nail varnish for a manicure and pedicure.

Right now, sitting in my bedroom, it feels like a wonderful thing to be a part of! But ask me again tomorrow morning driving down to the studio and I can guess I'm going to be a bundle of nerves and feeling very shy and bashful.

I’m finally here at the studio

Although I feel nervous, it's a good nervous! It feels exciting to be pushing myself out of my comfort zone and doing something completely different from any experience I've had.

It’s so strange to be sat in the makeup chair with a bag of my most secret items. I'm not experienced with makeup and I definitely don't know how to style lingerie and pose in it but Charlotte, Danielle, and Jon couldn't be friendlier.

I know everyone says it, but they all put me at ease straight away! They helped me with everything, from deciding what makeup colours will flatter my skin to which underwear will match my shoes.

What a crazy and wonderful experience

I’m feeling so empowered right now.

This is something I didn’t share with Foxlow before the shoot, but I have been suffering with anxiety for around 2 years and at its worst it was completely debilitating. I still struggle with anxiety but I manage it so much better than I ever have, and today I proved to myself that I really can do anything if I get myself in the right head space.

I am the heaviest I have ever been right now, which is something I feel quite uncomfortable about. Not many petite girls feel able to discuss their weight, as from my experience we are told to "stop being stupid", but just like curvier girls we have hangups about our appearance too. After having a little sneak peak at one of my photos it gave me such a buzz to see how amazing, and even sexy, I can look!

I've already messaged all of my friends telling them about my experience. Everyone put me at ease every second I was at the studio and I'm so excited to see the pictures tomorrow!

Today I saw myself in a whole new light

Before the shoot only my boyfriend, twin sister and best friend had seen me in my lingerie. When I booked the shoot I thought I would leave with a handful of pretty pictures to share with only those people, but the whole experience was so much more special than I ever could have imagined!

The shoot also gave me the confidence to feel pride in my imperfections. That just because I don't look like someone else doesn't mean I'm not beautiful. That I have the courage to do amazing things. That I'm allowed to feel beautiful, and I'm allowed to show others my beauty.

I’m so excited to get my photo book! Counting down the days…

I’ve been at home a lot during the lockdown

With the current situation combined with university stresses, I have found my body to be last on my priority list and that's resulted in putting on nearly 1 stone.

Before the photoshoot that would have really upset me, but this experience has given me so much confidence and changed my outlook of my body to not really care about this extra weight I have put on.

Of course I am going to concentrate on getting back to healthy habits when I can, but I am not going to let it affect my mental health and my boudoir photos are the key to helping me with that!

I collected my album today

I didn't come away with just a few pretty pictures, I came away with a book filled with beauty! I can't help but show off my gorgeous pictures at every opportunity, and I walk with a little more pride because of my unique differences.

I'm so glad I did the shoot! It’s the best thing I’ve ever done and I feel like a new person!