Amanda overcame her depression to accept and love herself
Amanda's depression and lack of confidence had held her back from celebrating her 50th Birthday with a Boudoir photoshoot, but two years later she's in a totally different place. She overcame her insecurities to create a gorgeous collection of photos and finally learned to accept who she is.
"When I turned 50 in September 2018, I booked a shoot with someone else and cancelled it twice because I couldn't find anything to wear, lacked confidence and was not in a good place in my life.
“I felt totally worthless”
I suffer with depression and had been through several relationship breakdowns where I was used emotionally and financially.
In November 2018 I tried to take my own life through lack of confidence and feeling totally worthless, but 18 months later I'm in a great place!
If you're struggling with depression or suicidal thoughts, please reach out to someone. If you need someone to talk to, the Samaritans are available 24/7 to listen without judgement.
I bought my own house in July, I'm still single, I lost some weight and my confidence level is back where it should be... hence the photoshoot. Foxlow's post popped up on my Facebook feed and I thought the photos of the ladies in the Vixens's group looked incredible and Wirksworth is not far for me.
I was going out shopping that day, so I thought if I can find one outfit I think I look OK in then I will book it. I did, and so I booked the shoot that same day.
“I was so worried that all my flaws would be on show”
So basically I chose Foxlow, or should I say I think Foxlow chose me, on that Saturday morning. As most ladies feel when they book a shoot, I was very nervous but also a little excited. Although I liked my outfits, I wasn't totally 100% happy and I was so worried that all my flaws would be on show.
On the day of my shoot, the nerves really kicked in. It felt lovely to be pampered having my hair and makeup done by Charlotte, it was very relaxing and the end result was perfect. On seeing my photos the makeup looks incredible.
“I totally forgot I was not wearing a great deal”
After talking things through with Danielle, it was time to change into my first outfit. It was my least favourite as it showed my flesh and flaws more than the others, but really within minutes I felt great which surprised me.
To be honest we were soon having such a laugh that I totally forgot I was not wearing a great deal.
“I felt my confidence just build”
As the shoot went on, I felt my confidence just build. It's quite hard to explain, but Danielle and Jon really did put me at ease. It was great how they showed me how to do all the poses and helped me decide which outfit to put on first and which poses to do in each outfit.
Of course I couldn't just pick a certain few... There were far too many gorgeous ones, but ordering was easy and Jon helped me choose the right package for what I wanted so it didn't cost any more than it needed to.
“I should accept who and what I am”
I did this for me and no one else. This whole experience has made me realise I am beautiful no matter what anyone else says and I should accept who and what I am." Amanda
Amanda was worried about what she was going to wear, but there was no need! Her three outfits showed different sides of her personal style and looked great on camera. My favourite look was her denim jacket over a gorgeous black and blue lace body with black hold ups and heels. The jacket added a casual edge to an otherwise glamorous outfit and the colours worked perfectly together.
